A Phrase Every Woman Loves to Hear:

"Wow, you look HUGE!"

Thanks. Thanks a lot. That's the first thing I want to hear when I get to work in the morning. I know that she didn't mean any offense, but sometimes things are just offensive all by themselves. I'm not mad at my co-worker... But I still feel like a freakin' walrus.

Flop flop flop around the office. Somebody throw me a fish.

This past weekend I also got:

"You're really big, aren't you?"

Oh, gosh, thanks Random Man at the Science Museum. I'm sure you're an expert in pregnancy and the appearance of pregnant women's bodies, and are the perfect person to judge how large I've gotten after 6 months of baby-growing. Sheesh.

I'm just going to start telling people I'm 8 months pregnant instead of 6. Someone might notice when the baby ends up being two months overdue, though...